Great Wall of Chow

Buy: smallest Costco pack (top sirloin cap), 2 pieces per vac-seal, ideally 3–4 lbs each.

Prep: pat dry, flip to the non-fat side, cut along the grain into 2–3 finger-wide pieces. Arrange on a baking sheet with a cooling rack, season all sides with Montreal seasoning — everything except the fat cap. Fridge a few hours; longer is better.

Reverse sear: kamado loaded 2-zone, 500°F and up. While it heats, the baking sheet goes in a 200°F oven for 40–45 minutes, pulling at about 110°F internal. Sear 2–3 minutes per side on the kamado; hit the fat side too, but watch for flare-ups and shift pieces to the low side to dodge flames.

Serve: cut across the grain now, each piece with a bit of fat cap. Rest is optional.

Marinate: salt and pepper as an undercoat; hot sauce if you want them all spicy. Marinate overnight only if you're serious about injecting flavor.

Cook: grill around 300°F. Defrosted wings into half-sheet foil pans until golden brown, about 140–150°F — they should look cooked.

Flavor split: divide pans by flavor (BBQ, pineapple habanero), toss and coat well, splitting the rendered oil from the original pan equally.

Dry vs wet: for dry wings, move them onto the grates. My kids like wet, so keep them in the pan to about 160°F. If the pan runs dry, turn down the heat or move to a cooler zone.

Crispy trick: mix in baking powder after flavoring for super-crispy wings — works wet or dry.

Restaurant hot-wing secret: a stick of butter plus a lot of hot sauce, mixed. Drench or lightly coat during the foil-pan phase; save some for dressing at the end.

Why foil pans: flipping wings is tiring.

Setup: Kamado Joe Joetisserie, fire on one side of the firebox, grill around 350°F. Keep a wrench or pliers handy — wing nuts loosen, the basket stops spinning, food burns. Check and tighten often.

Cook: marinate and flavor wings ahead, load rod and basket on a foil-lined baking sheet. No foil pan needed. Rod and basket will be hot and heavy — use the baking sheet to remove them.

Flare-ups: rotisserie drips chicken fat on coals — expect them. Spray bottle of water at the ready. Rotisserie is awesome; it's also a pain to clean afterward.

Build: 2 tablespoons sweetened condensed milk squeezed into a glass cup first, 4 hot espresso shots poured over, then 2 heaping tablespoons PBFit. Froth and mix well.

Pour: a 12–16 oz tumbler, about half full with ice. Pour the hot mix over — the ice chills and dilutes the 4-shot strength.

Finish: half a cup of oat milk (Costco Kirkland), poured in after the ice pour. Stir, taste, adjust. My verdict: damn it was good.

Amounts are loosey-goosey — heaping spoonfuls of the stuff you like.

1. Boil water to cover the japchae — a small bunch.
2. When the japchae is soft, pour the water into a bowl with the japchae.
3. Put in 3 pieces of dried shiitake mushrooms.
4. Cut up 3 pieces of kombu seaweed, into the bowl.
5. 1 tablespoon of Better Than Bouillon vegetable base.
6. 1 tablespoon of miso paste (my version — Quinn's had none).
7. A quarter block of tofu, cubed.
8. Mix it up.
9. Taste for flavor — add more miso or veggie bouillon for more oomph.
10. Microwave to get it hot again.
11. Add some cut-up green onion.